Terror Threat Levels
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14-02-2011, 11:36 PM
Post: #1
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Terror Threat Levels
Right I'm probably going to get into a load of trouble for this (sorry Nitrus et al)but here goes anyway.
The following was allegedly written by John Cleese and the the views expressed are not, necessarily, those of FATBOY. Apologies too to all those nationalities mentioned, being English myself, I too am "a little miffed". Enjoy The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards" They don't have any other levels. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose". Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level. |
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Messages In This Thread |
Terror Threat Levels - FATBOY - 14-02-2011 11:36 PM
RE: Terror Threat Levels - Saerwen - 15-02-2011, 12:56 AM
RE: Terror Threat Levels - Belle - 15-02-2011, 08:59 AM
RE: Terror Threat Levels - cateau1 - 15-02-2011, 02:56 PM
RE: Terror Threat Levels - Aria - 16-02-2011, 02:30 PM
RE: Terror Threat Levels - YourFutureMuse - 16-02-2011, 07:45 PM
RE: Terror Threat Levels - A Cousin - 16-02-2011, 11:29 PM
RE: Terror Threat Levels - FATBOY - 17-02-2011, 12:16 AM
RE: Terror Threat Levels - xzibit_m - 25-02-2011, 04:11 AM
RE: Terror Threat Levels - Nixie - 25-02-2011, 08:56 AM
RE: Terror Threat Levels - FATBOY - 25-02-2011, 09:20 AM
RE: Terror Threat Levels - Kirayuki - 26-02-2011, 01:15 AM
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