[spoilers] Harry and Ruth. The Wonder Years.

[DogSoSmall]

Hi. I haven't posted here before, in fact have only just discovered this whole website, but it has been keeping me sane during the frustration of this latest series. Reading the opinions of the intelligent people on here has been much more satisfying than seeing what the writers have come up with (although, I am keeping the faith that all will be settled in S10 between Harry and Ruth). Bearing in mind I am a huge Richard Armitage fan, in the context of Spooks he has been completely incidental to me next to the totally riveting relationship between Harry and Ruth.

I absolutely love Ruth, she is my hero, but she has been driving me insane in this series, forcing me to find good reasons why she is being so hard on lovely Harry. I don't think any of it is about blaming Harry, it is all about blaming herself for what happened to George and Nico. Not only does she feel hugely guilty that she put them in danger purely by coming into their lives, but she also feels that any happiness she finds with Harry as a result of George's death and her return would be wrong because it has only been possible at their expense. I think the main reason she is putting so much effort into hardening her heart is something that I haven't seen mentioned on these boards. The fact is, when it came down to it and she had to make a choice between giving away the whereabouts of a WMD or seeing her loved ones killed, she chose to save the few over the many. She didn't know her knowledge was redundant. She chose love over the country - the thing she is now so furious with Harry for doing (I too think she doesn't know yet that the Albany file was worthless). I think she has admired Harry hugely for being able to make those life and death decisions and be able to always put the greater good first and she wants to emulate him but she doesn't know how. She is trying to do it by shutting out all feeling, so that if she ever is put in that position again (even if it's with Harry) she will be able to make a clinical decision without remorse - an impossibility for someone of her kind and empathetic nature which is why it is making her so miserable. Finding herself in the position last week of having to sacrifice her own life to protect another state secret, she was given the chance to make up for what she sees as her previous failure to protect mankind, so when Harry saved her he took what she saw as her chance of redemption away from her and she resented him for it.

Harry doesn't seem to have to be a hard and unfeeling person in order to make life and death decisions. He probably learnt long ago how to keep going and keep his humanity. I wish he would share how he does it with Ruth, as it would help her too. My theory on this is that Harry sees every innocent person who has to die to protect the masses as a soldier in the fight against the enemy. Soldiers who give up their lives for their country are heroes and deserve honour and respect. I imagine him paying each innocent person who dies the compliment of believing that if they had been asked to give up their lives to save millions that they would have done it, and he honours them for that. That way he can keep on appreciating the goodness of humanity and not become bitter and despairing.

I do hope the writers give us some sort of explanation and closure in the next series, regardless of the outcome. This catalogue of misunderstanding, lack of communication and interrupted moments between Ruth and Harry is just getting to be too much. For everything that we've invested in these characters I think we deserve to see them acknowledge the truth of their feelings to each other. PLEASE!