[spoilers] Ruth

[A Cousin]

(22-09-2010 12:25 PM)Tea Lady Wrote:  I think Ruth has almost decided in her head, that she is not meant to have a family, not meant to have a husband, not meant to have close friends.

So she fears that without work, she and Harry will be nothing, because Ruth's life is her work and so she believes it is the same for Harry.

(22-09-2010 01:36 PM)lwhite53 Wrote:  And the "living a lie" bit -- that's Ruth's guilt over George's fate speaking.

Hmmm...things to ponder.

I cannot argue with the ideas that Ruth's reasoning may be based in her guilt over the past and her fears of intimacy. She is wounded and flawed and that is what makes good drama. Perhaps she is over compensating for the guilt she feels over George's death and her subsequent inability to believe that she deserves to be loved and have all the things "normal" people have: a husband, friends, a house anywhere - just for instance. She hasn't forgiven herself. However, I can't blame nor judge her for those fears no matter who is extending the proposal and how compelling he is. Because of the things she's seen and done, emotionally, she's had to compartmentalize the past and throw herself into her work. She can face her guilt honestly on the grid in the name of the greater good. I guess I can just sympathize with how it would color her ability to accept Harry. I don't think she is being dishonest about her feelings. I think she knows exactly how she feels and with that speech is letting him know that she does care and giving all she can at that moment. Maybe what she is trying to tell him is not that she doesn't love him, just that she is not yet in a place of self-forgiveness to able to accept him. Until she can, their marriage would be living a lie. And that would not be fair to Harry. And she cares too much for him to do that to him.

God, I hope this makes sense. Even if you may not agree with it.

An evil idea has occurred to me that she may be keeping him at arms length on purpose to protect him from something else. Time will tell on that one.